A Simple Guide for When It Hurts Everywhere
Notes on Warsan Shire, Frederick Buechner, and me, but really, why a wholly loveable God can help us when we hurt.
Not too long ago, I was introduced to the works of Warsan Shire, a Somali British writer and poet who was born in Nairobi and raised in London. This verse is from her poem “What They Did Yesterday Afternoon”:
“later that night
i held an atlas in my lap
ran my fingers across the whole world
and whispered
where does it hurt?it answered
everywhere
everywhere
everywhere.”
Many of us are told that we shouldn’t be sad, mad, anxious, overwhelmed, heartbroken, unhappy, or [you put in an emotion or feeling that you have been told or come to believe is unacceptable]. We have become master manipulators of hiding how we truly are because we have learned that sometimes others can only handle our hurt and pain for so long.
We don’t want to burden others. We don’t want to appear to struggle.
I have a wonderful group of friends, and yet when I lost my mom very unexpectedly to cancer in the summer of 2022, I felt like I could only burden them for so long. Romans 12:15 tells us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”
And yet it can be dreadfully hard to be the one who is the cause for mourning.
For all of the talk of mental health today, we are continually bombarded with messages that happy is always better than pensive, that sorrow must be replaced by joy, and that doubt can never trump faith.
The thing is, what Shire writes reflects what is really happening.
It hurts, everywhere. In our world, and in our personal lives.
Many of us have been hurt deeply, and at some point, we create greater damage as we try to hide the reality of our true selves.
Frederick Buechner has a quote that I often cite: “Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid.” Here’s the image I have, however flawed, when I think of this quote:
God opens up his cupped hands and lets us peer in. He whispers, “Come closer and look. Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen.” He then slowly closes his hands together again, looks us tenderly in the eyes, and says, “But don’t be afraid. It is MY world, in my hands.”
With this image, let me tell you three things that have made God wholly loveable to me as I accepted the fact that sometimes I am not happy, joyful, or full of faith. In moments when fear and sorrow and sadness fill my heart, these settle my soul.
First, God is omniscient.
God knows everything. We’ve all read books written from an omniscient point of view, those where we get a full picture of the minds and lives of every character. But step outside of a fictional story and this trait — omniscience — simply doesn’t exist outside of God.
Taken a layer deeper, God is not only the only one who knows our minds, but he knows our hearts (Romans 8:27). He numbers the hairs on our heads (Luke 12:7). He catches our tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8).
He knows not only that we are fearful or hurting or sad, but he knows why and how deep these feelings go. It’s okay to be fearful or sad or hurt, because God already knows that you are.
Second, God is omnipresent.
Again, we find a trait that only God can display. He is everywhere, all at once. This may seem like a terrifying thing (especially when we do things we shouldn’t!), but in this world where hurt is “everywhere, everywhere, everywhere,” God is IN the hardest of places.
…in this world where hurt is “everywhere, everywhere, everywhere,” God is IN the hardest of places.
He isn’t looking in with a solidarity of sorrow; he is right there, in the darkest crevices of pain. He doesn’t just see that you were hurt by your church; he was there. He doesn’t just know that you were betrayed; he walked with you through it.
Isaiah 43:2 says it well:
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.”
Did you catch it?
Look closely.
“I will be with you.”
God with us.
In God’s omnipresence, you are never alone. In a world that can feel so, so lonely, YOU ARE NEVER alone.
Third, God is transcendent.
If you look up this term in a dictionary, you will find some descriptive like “beyond usual limits or ordinary experience.” But one word captures this best: “surpassing.” God is simply way beyond, and way better, than anything in our everyday lives. Now if the word “surpassing” seems familiar, it’s no wonder! It is the word found in some translations of Ephesians 1:18-19, the great prayer of thanksgiving:
“I ask that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you may know the hope of His calling, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and the surpassing greatness of His power to us who believe.”
Other translations use “incomparably great power,” “incredible greatness,” “boundless greatness,” or my favorite from the Amplified version: “the immeasurable and unlimited and surpassing greatness…”
Here’s the point: In your worst moments, God can and is doing something you can’t even see! His ability to heal, listen, or get angry along with us as we hurt is unlimited! The despair I had over losing my mom felt like it would never end. But slowly and gently, day by day, God chipped away at my pain. Only his “surpassing greatness” could do this.
In God’s transcendence, you can believe he is able to do something you can’t even imagine.
An Attempt to Sum This Up:
Now let me share with you what Buechner wrote in the sentence before “This is the world…”:
“The grace of God means something like: Here is your life. You might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn't have been complete without you.”
How many of us are sitting on the sidelines because of what we have experienced?
How many of us have left churches because of abuse, power dynamics, or marginalization?
How many of us have come to believe that it is not okay to be sad, mad, anxious, overwhelmed, heartbroken, unhappy, or [you put in an emotion or feeling that you have been told or come to believe is unacceptable]?
Too many.
Our world does hurt everywhere.
But greater is the fact that beautiful things are happening too.
Greater still is that you are not alone. There is a very loveable God who knows everything about you and never leaves your side, and who is able to both sit with you as you hurt and to draw you back to a place of joy.
Please let him do that. Listen to Buechner:
“You might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn't have been complete without you.”
The party won’t be complete with you. This week, sit with God. Tell him where it hurts. Let him say to you, “I know, I’ve been there the whole time.” Believe him. And then ask him to show you what’s next.
Much love to you,
💚 Laurie
(Next time, I will talk about this thing I’ve been reflecting on; namely, what it looks like to feel free in this world.)